I am having connectivity issues today--regular programming will return shortly.

House, to 13, who is bisexual: Lesbian!
13: I'm not a lesbian.
House: I know. I was rounding up.


Yesterday's quote was from Bye Bye Birdie.

Today's quote-- "Try not looking like Tricia Nixon reviewing the troops."

My children didn't get me anything for Mother's Day. Ungrateful little hairy wretches.


Today's quote-- "Now, don't try to pay me back, son. I forgive you. So what if you're an ingrate? So long as you're happy."

Yesterday was one of the more elastic days of my life. I started out the day with little sleep, cranky and stressed out, and things went downhill from there. However, one of my bestest friends in the world came over last night, and about a half a minute before she showed up, I got some really good news. After a few minutes of dancing about with her and ravenspb, we went out and consumed good food and vast quantities of alcohol.

The things that were making me cranky and stressed are still present today, but I feel metric buttloads better about life in general now.


Today's quote-- "Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?"

I've been playing an online version of CLUE lately, and it got me nostalgic for the version I played in childhood. I went Googling for the player cards of the version I remembered, and I finally found what seems to be a fairly definitive list--

http://www.theartofmurder.com/table/link/suspectyears/index.html

My version was the 1972 US version, sixth one down on the page.

What about you? Did you play CLUE? Which version is yours?


Today's quote-- "He's a heart surgeon. You're a dentist. It's like saying General Patton and Colonel Mustard are both military men."

shamelessly lifted from maradydd, because it needs to be seen by as many people as possible.



Today's quote-- "I'm just worried this whole session is going to turn into a training montage from an eighties movie."

Since I seem to be noticing this more and more lately, I think it's time we had a little refresher chat about your job responsibilities. Your job, your only job, is to complement the story being told onscreen. Perks include evoking emotion, cueing the audience in on possible undercurrents and plot twists, setting a mood, establishing a theme, and occasionally highlighting a character or two. You have tons of freedom within this framework, and you can be all kinds of things, from stirring to sweeping to subtle to sinister--you can be as memorable as you like. People might be humming you years from now, decades, even.

What you should not do, ever, is DISTRACT ME FROM THE GODDAMN MOVIE. You know what I'm talking about. You were trying to be edgy and avant-garde, and I respect that, I really do. What you need to respect is the film you're accompanying, and not be off to one side doing your best Michigan J. Bullfrog impersonation. It pulls me right out of the story and makes me super-cranky. So knock it off, okay?

( The answer to yesterday's much-guessed quote )

Today's quote-- "Don't talk about the music. Everybody knows, when your friends don't like your movie and they can't think of anything nice to say they talk about the music."

see more crazy cat pics

Today's quote-- "Darling, I'm sure no one's trying to kill you."

The AV Club has an excellent rundown of the upcoming summer movies here and here.

Too bad there's only one on the list that I absolutely *must* see in the theater. (There are a couple I wouldn't mind seeing in the theater, but I won't cry if I don't.)

*hums Indy's theme*


Today's quote-- "I'm supposed to do a thriller for Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican."

Which is what I called "cartoons" when I was wee. (Also "bean greens" and the ever-popular "basghetti." Evidently, I was quite the little Spoonerist.) Anyway, here's an interesting discussion on the state of American vs. Japanese animation.

I have often thought that the ideal animated film would combine the lush beauty of Japanese anime with a linear, logical story I could get my Western brain wrapped around. (Seriously--I love anime, but I spend a great deal of time WTF?-ing in between the oohing and aahing.)

So what do you think? What are some of your favorites from both hemispheres?


Today's quote-- "He's calling the spirits of darkness ... I saw him do this once before when a girl dumped him."

I have The Pains, which did not make waiting in line at the Post Office this morning any more fun. But the deed is done and the wondrous package is sent, after some intense negotiations with the nice lady behind the counter who couldn't seem to comprehend that I wanted enough postage on one envelope to ensure its return to me after May 12th. (Apparently you can't buy just one forever stamp--you have to get a whole book.)

I will not comment on the multitudes of screaming children waiting in the same line, other than to say this special time increases my maternal instincts not one jot.


Today's quote-- "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists."

Last night:

Me, trying to coax Mildmay out of my window so I can go to bed: Come on over here. It's way nicer over here. We have treats.
Mildmay: Treats? Really? Awesome! (jumps out of window, lands on bed, is immediately scooped up by the evil Mom-lady)
Mildmay: Wait! You said there'd be treats!
Me: Sometimes mommies lie.
Mildmay: Nooooooooooooo!!

I carry Mildmay into the living room, where Zonker is sitting on the floor, having a quick face wash.

Me: Zonker! Look what I found! (deposits Mildmay on love seat)
Zonker: Oh, it's the bane of my existence. What fun. (goes back to face washing.)
Mildmay: Where are the TREEEEEEEEEEEEETS???!?!?
Me, having mild guilt pangs: All right, all right, here, have some treats.
Mildmay: YAAAAAAAAYS!!!! nom nom nom
Zonker: I loves me some treats, too! nom nom nom
Mildmay shoves Zonker to one side to get at her treats: MORE TREEEEETS!!!
Zonker: DIE BITCH!!

Kitty mayhem ensues. I go to bed.

This morning:

Zonker is sitting nearly on my keyboard, staring at me intently.

Me: What should I blog about today?
Zonker: I give a crap. Pet me.
Mildmay, from the porch: Lizard on the screen! LIZARD ON THE SCREEEEEEN!!! (loses his tiny little mind, climbs screen)
Me, rushing out to porch: OFF THE SCREEN NOW!!!
Mildmay, fleeing: EEEEEEeeeeeee!!!

I go back to the desk. Zonker has not moved.

Zonker: So where'd we land on that whole petting thing?

This is why I don't need cable.

Today's quote-- "I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service."

... of the child with the toy flute/whistle/whatever the HELL it is that is currently wandering around the complex, tooting randomly and tunelessly. Please die. As soon as possible. And may the way of your demise be choking on the damn thing.

From yesterday's post, the answer to my fictional babymaking question. (Please note--it is the character, not the actor, who gets my hormones all in a tizzy.)

( This may answer several things, actually )

At least I won't get bored.

Today's quote-- "I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art!"

Ewan McGregor in negotiations for 'Angels and Demons.'

I haven't read the book (out of sheer self-preservation) so I have no idea what kind of character this is, but in reading the various comments, I'm starting to get the impression he might be a smidge Iago-like. We'll see.

I was reminded last night of the one fictional character I would be willing to marry and have lots of babies with, which is so unlike me as to be ridiculous. Can you guess who it might be? Hint: He's not very nice, and doesn't have much hair. (No, it's not the quotee today.)


Today's quote-- "No. Not very nice at all, my love."

After Deception, I decided to hit my Netflix movies in the hopes of getting the bad taste out of my mouth. I only had a half-success.

First up, I Am Legend. For the most part, this movie had me. I love Will Smith, I loved the dog, I was okay with some plot liberties here and there, the set pieces were stunning, the CGI critters not so much, but I can be forgiving when it comes to effects, as long as it looks like you gave it the ol' college try. I thought the bit with the mannequins was incredibly touching.

So yeah. Everything's going along great. And then they completely and utterly blow the ending. Emphasis on "blow." Even the alternate ending bit the big one, albeit in a different way. Note to future filmmakers: If you're going to make a movie of I Am Legend, make sure you understand what those words mean, or call it something else. Please.

Last night's feature was Rendition. Flawed, but mostly excellent. The flaw for me was the characters, who were mainly sketches instead of fully-fleshed people, but it still worked. The acting was top-notch from everyone involved, and Marcel Langenegger needs to watch this movie repeatedly for lessons from Gavin Hood on how not to telegraph a plot twist. I was blown away.

It also made its point successfully without getting preachy--everyone's point of view was clearly spelled out and easily understood and empathized with, even if you didn't agree. Lisa recommends. :)


Today's quote-- "OK, what kind of sick doggy snuff film is this?"